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vinilla (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
Madonna is the best!
ThexFinalxSayonara (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
This lady seems pretty nice.
She reminds me of my Gramma.
I bet she's very good at her writing.
lilxkarmaxmonster (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
Maybe that's because they were paying her to talk.....
neimon (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
That comma is incorrect. There is no phrase to set off. You're writing as if that's a pause for breath. If it were dialog, that'd be almost acceptable. But it's not. So how about we all chill on this subject?
mastercraftsucks (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
Tad Williams pwns this woman anytime
ShortStoryComp (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
Enter a short story competition and win a cash prize. Click on my profile to find out more.
isainathan (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
God this woman is so good. Have any of you read her novel 'them' from 1970? Genial!
Banakaal (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
I put a comma after 'ten-year olds'. The sentence needed a pause. Read it without pausing at the comma. Then you might wish to reconsider if a comma is optional or maybe even necessary. Do you know what a semi-colon does? It seems you don't know. I didn't miss a 'were'. I left in a 'they' by accident. That was a typo. Do you know what typos are?
As I said,the character count in YT makes it difficult to write correct syntax and grammar.. OK Teacher?
davwar73 (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
A comma is not necessary after "ten-year olds". Also, you are a little liberal in your use of semi-colons. You've dropped a 'were' before written.
hotcarlreeves (November 30, 1999 at 12:00 am)
goddammit dont censor me |